Part A
-Don’t do it (referring only to the wedding- not the marriage)
A wedding will cost about the same as a new car and since a new car will last roughly 1,000 days vs. 1 day of wedding- take the money and run (to the courthouse).
But since 99% of people (including me) will opt for the wedding anyway- refer to part B

Part B
-Enjoy every moment of the love and attention you will receive during these months from so many people who sincerely love you and want to see you happy

-Everything (& I mean literally EVERYTHING) will be more expensive than you think. Every vendor also needs to make a living so no product or service will be merely a couple hundred dollars. It is important to realize that a wedding is EXPENSIVE! (And not to be mad about that…..this one is more for the bride’s parents I guess)

-Stick to your guns. If you want everyone to wear green hats at your wedding (which here represents whatever request would make the wedding day perfect in your eyes) know that you will have people complaining about it- and this will probably be hurtful. But since this is your party (which is costing as much as a new car) respectfully suggest anyone opposed to green hats decline your invitation. This is your day- don’t compromise.

-As much hard hard work and stress as the whole process is for you, remember there are people around you giving of their time and money and love to add to your day, and take time to appreciate them and love them for all their doing (especially if they aren’t complaining about green hats)

-Be Gracious and Be kind to everyone, even if they don’t like green hats and let you know it. (This will be harder some days than others.)

Finally- marriage with the right person is the greatest experience of a lifetime – so keep the end goal is sight no matter what anyone else does or says.

This is all a beautiful expression of a tender heart! Except for those of us who identify ourselves as “not a crier”. So what’s wrong with us? Do we not experience the same range of emotions as the criers? After questioning myself in this way at many events where I stood dry eyed, the answer for me personally seems to lie in my natural predelection towards positivity- I seem to have an innate desire to “look on the bright side”. It follows that when a new phase of life is commemmorated and the page closes on an important chapter of my life I can easily (and unconciously) ignore/deny the feeling of loss of a particularly wonderful period (because that feels like negativity to me) and focus only on the positive emotions of joy and excitement of the new episode of life represented at said event. I look around to see eyes brimming with tears and almsot guiltily check my emotions, but invariably I feel only a bubbly sort of joy and have a big silly grin attached firmly to my face. Honestly, I can be so wonderfully overcome with euphoria at the prospect of the joy the occasion promises that in that moment (although my head understands the conflicting sentiments of the criers) my heart can scarcely empathize at all.

But I know not to be lulled into a false sense of emotional superiority, some feelings are common to the human condition and will eventually show themselves. To move past the grief of loss of any closed chapter it must be expressed, whether in tears or just moments of melancholic reflection. It could be perhaps in 2 weeks during a 3 a.m. bathroom trip or even a month later at Kroger when I cry “because” I can’t find the kind of cheese I usually buy. This particular public display of emotion will not, however, be seen as touching or convey my sensitivity, but is primarily useful for making me look a little unstable to passersby.

So if you see me in a few days at a particular significant event and I have dry eyes and an enormous smile, know that I am not unfeeling, only genuinely happy in the moment. And if you then see me at Kroger crying over refrigerated foods, know that I am not crazy, only every bit as human as the criers….